Bedbuggy

That when you finally relent to go see a movie with your betrothed, you visit a movie theater that has been frequented by transients and college students from Allston, MA. Therefore, the seats at the theater - except for the ones in the neck-craning front row - are all infested with bed bugs. While you might enjoy the film, these little buggers will enjoy you and will infest your body, clothes and home until you have to move to the moon to be rid of them.

Spitting Spider

That when you are napping on the couch on a lazy Saturday during the Tour de France, you spy a movement out of the corner of your eye. But you have left your eyeglasses on the table so you move physically near the movement - and it looks like a bug of some sort. To see the creature more clearly, you open your eyes wide and move in even closer - now a mere seven inches away.

Then suddenly, and horrifically, the bug - a slithering, spitting spider - shoots venom into your eyes, nose and mouth while you fall off the couch to your elbows. Since you spend so much time on the couch you have some girth. The weight on your elbows breaks them and you gasp from the pain, sucking the venom deep into your torso.

The poison courses through your veins, even while the cyclists pedal on oblivious to your trauma. And the last thing you see is a view of the beautiful French Pyrenees on Versus TV.

Just Buggin'

That when the bug in the shower gets washed away with your shampoo and other suds, it emits a scream that only other bugs can hear as it enters the drain and then a sewer’s worth of bugs from all the pipes in all the homes and drains all over town start crawling back up toward your shower.

And, as you rinse the vestiges of soap from your body and squeeze the water from your golden locks, an entire battalion of creepy, crawly, icky, slimy and disgusting bugs emerge from the drain and immediately block your exit from the shower. You know in an instant that your moments are numbered as the millions of tiny feet grip your clean, glistening skin and crawl up your body to enter your soon-to-be corpse through your screaming mouth.

Lakeside Animosity

That while traipsing along a lakeside on a carefree nature walk, the turles on the logs, the mountain lions in the woods, the deer, the snakes, the spiders and other assorted creatures won't be deterred by the loud stomping of your feet and will coordinate a careful picking clean of your bones after they attack and destroy you.