Sunday, August 26, 2007

Red Eye Reduction

That when trying to color your hair blond, a bit of the bleaching agent will get in your eye and immediately destroy your vision—causing at once two problems...that you won't be able to balance in the shower and will likely fall through the glass door and cut yourself to ribbons; AND that you won't be able see if your new outstanding color choice looks good because only half your head will be visible.

A Snaking Suspicion

That when you find yourself foraging for your golf ball in the thick underbrush, a snake will mistake your ankle for a tasty rodent and attach its fangs to your leg just above the Achilles so you topple sideways into poison ivy, poison oak and a deceptive puddle of quicksand.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Meaty Err

That while reclined in a plastic patio chair watching the Perseid Meteor showers at 1AM, a coyote will wander up the back stairs to your deck and bite you in the head.