Smudgetastrophy of the Heart

That during a high-school track meet you meet the girl of your dreams on a competing team. Even with your months of training, just talking to her takes your breath away. While chatting together near the scorer's table she impulsively writes her phone number and email on your palm and then runs off to join her team.

You're elated. So much so that you high-five all your sweaty teammates and clap your hands in glee. The track meet ends and you wave to her bus as they drive off. Then you look at your hand in horror. The slapping, clapping and sweat have conspired to smudge out her information and you're immediately turned into a forlorn and broken boy.

COPS Swap

That for some reason - and beyond all comprehension - one night I'll wake up in the television as one of the 'actors' on the FOX show COPS. This unreal switch might seem like magic or a dream, but it quickly turns into a nightmare when I'm shown as one of the fatties who gets tackled, smashed into, punched and tazed by the police. Whatcha gonna do?

Bee Very Careful

That when sipping tea at the local coffee shoppe, you kick at a wasp that has wandered near your table and put your foot through the 9-foot vertical picture window. Then, as you struggle to get out of your chair, you notice that the guillotine-like shard of glass is about slice off your leg. But worse, the wasp had friends who just escaped the nest beside the window and are heck-bent on stinging you to death.