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Toilet Treachery

That your legs will fall asleep so badly on the toilet that you'll try to stand up and fail miserably, tumbling either headlong into the granite sink and dying from a head wound or flipping majestically into the tub and drowning from the constantly dripping faucet.

Bad Carma

That while fixing your car and leaning over the engine, that your tie or other loose clothing will get caught in the engine and pull you to a horribly mangle-ful death.

Bee-n There, Feared That

That the bees buzzing peacefully around your yard during a cook-out will land in your beer, get angry, then sting inside your mouth when you take a swig.