Theatrical Permanent Sabbatical

That after you've watched the final showing of the final film in an old movie theater and get up to leave, your shoes get stuck to JuJuBe goop or some other concoction that's on the floor of the ancient building. And as you struggle to get free, the sticky mess causes you to tweak your ankle and you collapse to your knees. Then you realize that your feet, knees and shins are cemented to the ugly ooze and put your hands down to free yourself, but that doesn't work. The sugary death trap only behaves more like quicksand than a happy and tasty sucrose treat, and there you remain for weeks and months as spiders and other insects wrap you in webs and dust. You might stay alive by sucking on the leg of a movie theater seat, but then the wrecking ball comes and your frail visage is shattered and crushed like so many Hollywood dreams.

Micey Dicey

That the scratching and scurrying you hear in the walls is from field mice who have decided to share your home during the colder months - and what's worse, they also want to share your food during that time too. But because you've been so good at securing the food in the pantry and the kitchen, the mice only have one option and that's to nibble on your fingers, toes, nose and eyeballs whilst you sleep, causing you significant discomfort and disfigurement until spring...and perhaps longer.

Deadly Milk Dud

That while gobbling the remains of your Halloween candy, you'll toss a Milk Dud into your gullet too fast and block your airway. Then, when you collapse and die, you'll pull the bedpan in which you store the candy down on top of you causing a big gash in your head.

THEN, when somebody finds you they'll open an investigation into your murder because they don't understand how the gash and the crash and the death came about.

Ultimately, your estate will remain unsettled for centuries as the authorities investigate the crime.

Coke Bottle Glasses

When you're doing your food shopping, remain acutely aware that at any moment a cap from a bottle of soda could rocket off of the bottle and knock out your eye.

Boomerang Food

You're better off eating your poorly prepared dish at a restaurant than sending your bad food away and subsequently getting a meal that is warmed up and has a fresh loogie in it.