Porcelain Privacy

That when you step into the bathroom your phone, house or cell or even VOIP/Vonage, rings off the hook. It happens persistently, leading you to believe that the new electronics in the home - your computer, flatscreen TV, air conditioner, electric toothbrush - all have tiny pinhole cameras in them that have effectively turned your life into the Toilet Truman Show. Remember to wash your hands.

Caffeine Extreme

That after you return home from a coffee cupping and coffee-themed tasting menu courtesy of a nationally recognized brand of coffee, you might never sleep again because the combination of rich coffee-infused food and coffee cuppings conspire to make you alert and attentive for the next 47 years.

Namebadge Badness

That shortly after you pick up your ditty bag and name badge at the registration desk at a conference, you put down your bag to adjust your lanyard and feel yourself slipping. In your quest to maintain your balance you reach out to grab the back of a nearby chair - but you catch your fingers in the lanyard that is now around your neck.

While you dexterously move your fingers out of the lanyard without snapping each and every one, you still manage to slice your wrist open on the crazy sharp plastic of the badge holder. Then, you gush blood all over vendors and other attendees who proceed to shun you and your message for the rest of the event. Even as your precious life ebbs away on the luxuriously carpeted floor of the convention center.

"Cord"inated Attack

That after toasting some tasty waffles, you move the toaster aside but neglect to see that the cord to your computer is nestled up against the hot appliance. Then, while you write informative blog posts, stimulating columns and random tweets, you find that just touching the keys seems to make your fingertips tingle. But beyond that, there are a few sparks flying and by attributing this to the typing speed and power of your words - neglecting to realize that said laptop is engulfed in flame and an electrical fire has now taken your hands off at the wrists.